We all commit mistakes. Some of these mistakes can be fixed with a simple sorry. However, sometimes we don’t know how to apologize for a mistake professionally. Sometimes, a simple sorry is indeed quite complicated. At times we may be stuck with a broken bond with a co-worker. Not able to understand how to deal with it. Try these time-proven tips to understand how to apologize for a mistake professionally. Most importantly, we need to put ourselves in their shoes. The next step is to acknowledge our mistake. Once we have done that, apologizing becomes far easier.
Acknowledging your mistake
Things get stuck when people do not accept their mistakes at all. Imagine that you are the manager of a small team. You mailed one of the team members to send you an important report by the End of the Day. Meanwhile, you had some family problems due to which you are upset. You lash out at the team member by sending a sarcastic mail. Later you realize you should not have been sarcastic. You could have simply sent a reminder mail asking for a response.
However, many a time, we do not have the courage to accept our mistakes. It is more common when we are in a position of power. The first step towards apologizing is to acknowledge that you made a mistake.
Understand their perspective first
First, you acknowledge your mistake to yourself. After that, you have to understand how the other person(s) feel. When you put yourself into their shoes, you can get how bad they might feel. This will give you an opportunity to put things into perspective. Here are the steps to understand their perspective:
- Try to recreate the events
- Imagine your actions from a 3rd person. Alternatively, imagine a camera in the room where you made mistake.
- See yourself from this 3rd person.
- Look out for how the person reacted and how you reacted
- Even if there was a mistake at other person’s end, note it without any bitterness
- Think about how you felt after the episode
- Try to imagine how they might have felt after the episode
- Also put yourself in the shoes of another person who was part of the event. Think how they felt after the event.
How to apologize for a mistake professionally
An apology may or may not be effective. Sometimes, it can make things worse. Now, how to apologize in a way that ensures it is effective? In fact, some researchers have been working on the process of apology. A review of past literature on the apology was done by O’Hara in 2004. The research shows that there are four parts of an effective apology:
We have already discussed the step for identifiaction of the wrongful act. Next step is to express remorse. You need to express your sorry honestly. Sincerity in your apology helps other person forgive. At the same time, you must promise not to commit the same mistake again. You should forebear from doing the same thing in future. Finally, you must also offer your help to fix the broken. It could be broken bond, some bad result or even third party relationship.
Verbal Vs Written Vs Kind
Generally, verbal apologies work better for complicated situations. You will have ample time to assess the expressions of the person. You will get the opportunity to offer alternative views and explanations. Also, it is much more expressive than a written apology. The person can literally read remorse in your face. Written apologies are reproducible records. Also, office politics are quite common everywhere. If you suspect the person to use your apology against you in the future, a verbal apology is better.
However, if you are not very expressive you can try a written apology. It is generally considered more formal. Therefore, it may be appropriate in some settings. You can apologize more professionally through your letter. Ensure that all four elements of apology are used in the letter. Keep it simple and focus. It can also happen that you don’t feel remorse. You still think that person is the ‘culprit.’ However, you have to apologize to take things forward. In that case, too, a written apology works better. Also, if you have to apologize to a group, it is a good idea to mail everyone and apologize at once.
Upfront vs Opportunistic
It takes some time for the person to cool down. Smaller mistakes must be apologized instantly. However, if your mistake is a big one, give the other party some time to cool down. They are more likely to forgive you. You can give a gap of few hours to several days.
If there is a gap in your apology, you should ensure that the time is correct. Firstly, the person should be in a good mood. Secondly, try to find a moment when the person is alone.
Fixing the broken string
Showing remorse and apologizing can even mend relationships that are long broken. Firstly, ask if there is anything that you can do. It is better to understand what is important for a person. Next offer a helping hand in mending the broken.
FAQs on how to apologize for a mistake professionally
No. It is a bad idea. This lowers your credibility. Also it shows that you are more concerened about your side of the story not theirs. Directly start with their perspective and apologize.
Verbal apologies help you express your remorse better. Also written apologies are more formal. Also, they can be used as a record to show your acceptance of mistake.
Give the person some time to cool down. Try again to see if it works. Sometimes the person may not accept your apology upfront. However, you will see them easing their behavior towards you from next day.
At times, it may be seen as an act of submission. Especially if you are apologizing for a fight or argument. You need to take your call. Whether apologizing and mending relationship outweights the fear of appearing to submit to the other person or not?
This is not a good idea. It shows your weakness. It is better that in such cases you find an appropriate time and discuss. Just ask the person where things went wrong that day. It is likely they will confess that they did something wrong and apologize. After their apology, you can also apologize for your mistake. Even if you think you are 100% right, still you might have given some room for the problem to occur.
Yes, it is indeed a good idea. People who move up the corporate ladder are proactive. Whether you know how to apologize for a mistake professionally or not. You must still try to be genuine and apologize.