Aspiration refers to the hope or ambition to achieve something. Usually, aspirations are tied to some specific goal. For example, one can aspire to become a doctor or a teacher. It is something that provides us an inner push to strive to achieve the goal. Aspirations give us a sense of direction and a sense of hope for a better future. Individuals may greatly vary on their levels and types of aspirations. Some individuals have realistic and achievable aspirations, whereas, others have unrealistic aspirations. Some people have materialistic aspirations while others may have spiritual aspirations. We will explore various aspirations, how they impact us, and how to know what our aspirations are.

Types of Aspirations

Individuals may have different types of aspirations based on their stage of life, their abilities and education, their peer group, or their social circle. There may be different types of aspirations based on the different domains or aspects of one’s life. For instance, one may aspire to be a doctor as a career choice, a good mother as a personal choice, and an altruistic person in their social sphere. Based on this, it can be said that aspirations are predominantly of three types:

1. Personal Aspirations: These refer to the specific personal development milestones one wishes to achieve. For instance, an individual may aspire to cook well, dance well, meditate, take trips, write a journal, etc. They mostly satisfy one’s personal preferences. They are highly governed by the culture in which one is born and raised.
2. Career Aspirations: These refer to the career or job-oriented milestones one wishes to achieve. For instance, one may wish to be an air hostess and therefore attend air hostess training courses after school or college classes. These drive a person’s success in the professional sphere. Having high and optimistic carrer aspirations is a strong indicator of future professional success.
3. Social Aspirations: These refer to the way in which one wants to be socially perceived. Desire for power, status, material belongings are all indicators of one’s social aspirations. These are improtant as they help project our image.

How do aspirations impact us?

Broadly speaking, aspirations are good for us. However, there may be times in our lives when aspiring for more or aspiring for things that are beyond our means leads to unhappiness. Therefore, it is crucial for us to aspire for the optimum things. Let us consider an example. A student of class 12 scores very low marks in Mathematics consistently throughout his school life. However, owing to the fact that everyone in the boy’s family is an engineer, he too aspires to be one. Is this aspiration affecting this adolescent positively? The answer is NO.

Let us now consider another example. A college student has to take up a job as a waitress at a local restaurant due to financial problems at home. She works for 8 hours and then attends night college because she aspires to be a teacher in the future. Is this aspiration affecting this girl positively? The answer is YES.

Not having an aspiration leads to a sense of directionlessness in life. We become like a rudderless ship, sailing all over the ocean, not knowing what our next step is or what makes us happy. Therefore, having aspirations is good. However, they should not be beyond our means or too unrealistic in nature.

Signs of Aspiration

How do we know if we have aspirations in life? Look at the following list and decide:

1. Actively planning for the future
2. Feeling positive emotions when attaining goals
3. Wishful thinking
4. Working hard for future goals
5. Being able to define what we want to be in the next 5 years
6. Having a long-term orientation
7. Not being too upset over mistakes and failures
8. Enjoying work
9. Knowing one’s strengths and weaknesses

How to find your aspiration?

It may be difficult for some people to find their aspirations. However, there are certain techniques that can facilitate the process of self-discovery. Here are a few of them:

1. Self-Introspection: No amount of outside help can make us discover ourselves more than self-introspection. We really need to spend some time thinking about ourselves. What gives us joy? What is something tha we would not mind doing everyday for the rest of our lives? Answering all these questions will help us discover our aspiration.
2. Professional Help: Many times, we may feel lost because of some persistent mental health condition. We may experience burnout, trauma, depression and other factors which make us feel blue. Speaking to a professional will help in overcoming these obstabcles and leading and more meaningful and joyous life.
3. Don’t push yourself too hard: Sometimes it is alright to not know and let things unfold gradually. It is important to not judge ourselves too hard. Life is a marathon, not a sprint. Giving ourselves time and not doing something just because everyone else is doing it is an important part of self-discovery.

Conclusion

Aspirations are important for us to be successful in life. However, they should be congruent with our life context. Additionally, it is alright if we are not aware of our aspirations or even if we do not have one. Hard work and persistence are the actual keys to achieving our goals and leading happy lives.

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Do you find the idea of being perfect in all your pursuits rather appealing? In fact, many people do. In the age of competition and the need to be the best, many people feel that being a perfectionist is their strongest quality. However, is it really? We will learn about the pros and cons of workplace perfectionism in this article.

Who is a Perfectionist?

First and foremost, we need to understand what perfectionism really means. Perfectionism is the tendency to strive for flawlessness. By its very definition, it seems that all of us should be striving for it. However, perfectionism is more often than not accompanied by the tendency to fixate and ruminate about one’s performance, trying hard to control every facet of the task, and being extremely harsh on one’s mistakes. In addition, perfectionism is often accompanied by obsessive slowness. In other words, a perfectionist can never click the submit button without making sure that each and every nook and corner of the task is flawless. All of these factors, together with the lack of flexibility of the person making it impossible for other co-workers to work in a peaceful space. Therefore, perfectionists not only hamper their own productivity and peace but also that of others around them. Perfectionism has nothing to do with a desire to give one’s best. Rather it is a shield that protects the person from the shame and embarrassment of not doing a good job.

How to recognize a perfectionist?

We can easily recognize a perfectionist in any social setting with very few interactions with the person. For instance, they are likely to suffer from high levels of anxiety. Any situation where they feel the pressure of being evaluated evokes anxiety responses in them. They would also overthink and ruminate. Here are a few signs of perfectionism:

Procrastination:

A key characteristic of perfectionists is procrastination. This mainly arises because of the need to be flawless and an inability to start a task till they know how to do it fully.

Having unrealistically high performance standards:

Perfectionists often set very high standards for themselves. Most of these standards are way out of the person’s ability. Therefore, they are likely to set unachievable goals.

Shame on unattained goals:

They are likely to feel extreme levels of shame and embarrassment when they fail to achieve goals. Since their goals are anyway unrealistic, shame is almost inevitable for them. This, in turn, initiates a vicious cycle of rumination, anxiety, and poor wellbeing.

Focus only on the end result:

We all make mistakes in our work and learn to be better in the process. Enjoying and appreciating the journey is as important as the end product. However, perfectionists do not believe in this. Rather, they judge the utility of activity by the end result.

Desire to win every time:

Nothing less than victory satisfies a perfectionist. They are very bad at accepting failures and learning from them.

Self-criticism:

Perfectionists are very critical of each and every action they take. They are too preoccupied with failures and imperfections and are extremely judgemental.

Fear of Failure:

They are often paralyzed by the fear of failing at a task. The most common consequence of this is their tendency to procrastinate.

Slowness:

Perfectionists are very slow in their work. They have trouble taking a step forward if they have the slightest doubt about it. As a result, they are most likely to miss deadlines.

Low self-esteem:

All of the above symptoms are actually manifestations of low self-esteem. Since they have trouble trusting their own abilities, they are likely to hide behind the shield of perfectionism.

Mental health problems:

Perfectionism is strongly associated with mental health problems like depression, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, panic attacks, and many more.

Why is perfectionism not good for us?

First and foremost, we should never confuse perfectionism with high achievers or the desire to do a good job. In fact, it is a condition where individuals actually under-perform but are constantly experiencing high levels of stress and anxiety. Therefore, the star performer of your group is not a perfectionist.

Perfectionism actually stems from the unconscious fear of disapproval and societal judgment. Due to this reason, we often see that children of extremely strict and punishing parents often develop this problem. The fear of parental love and approval forces the child to try to be flawless. However, over time, they develop high anxiety, fear of punishment, fear of rejection, and low self-esteem. This gives rise to mental health issues in adult life.

How to reduce perfectionistic tendencies?

Reducing perfectionistic tendencies is not an easy task. It is a battle between the inner unrealistic world and the outer real world. However, there are certain steps that can be taken to manage it and lead a happy life:

1. Positive affirmations help dealing with low self-esteem and has been found to be helful for anxiety patients as well. Since perfectionism is a self-esteem and anxiety issue, trying positive affirmations may help.
2. Psychotherapy: Therapy to reduce anxiety and the fears associated with “not being good enough” may help.
3. Parenting Style impacts the mental health of children throughout their lives. Hence, new parents may consider parenting guidelines to raise mentally strong children.
4. Mindfulness helps us be more aware of ourselves and the tasks we do everyday. Being more mindful will help us recognize the problems in our behaviors and thoughts. Therefore, it will be easier for us to control the same.

Conclusion

Therefore, perfectionism is not something to boast and be proud about. In fact, it is a serious anxiety problem and can lead to maladaptive behaviors. Perfectionistic tendencies can actually slow us down and make our lives worse.

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Social support entails emotional as well as resource-based support or help from those around you. No other individual might actually help you with the task. However, you know that they are there to provide you with moral or emotional support. In other words, you know that you are not alone in your turmoil. Talking to your friends and family after experiencing a tough day at work or sharing a piece of good news with your dear ones often makes you feel better. Let us delve deeper into the facts and research about social support and understand what you can do to improve your social support.

Some research about social support

Most research speaks of social support as a positive coping resource. Friends, family, co-workers, supervisors can provide you with useful resources to solve your problem. Additionally, they can provide you with emotional and moral support. This not only boosts motivation but also helps us feel positive emotions, thereby, improving performance. A sense of belongingness to our community or any social group gives us an anchor and provides a source of social identity. Social identity is extremely important for human beings. Its importance has been highlighted by researchers since the 1980s.

Social identity basically serves as an anchor or a home base to which we can return after any positive or negative events. Our self-esteem is also tied to the fate of the social group. For instance, despite experiencing negative life events, we are much more likely to have high self-esteem if we belong to a prestigious social group. On the other hand, if we believe that we belong to an inferior social group, we are more likely to suffer from poor self-esteem.

Individuals have been seen to go to extreme lengths, like derogating an out-group member or fiercely advocating the agenda of the in-group, despite not having any personal gains from the same. Interestingly, when researchers re-assigned individuals of different social groups to the same group, they worked as a coherent group in order to achieve the superordinate goal. Therefore, group identity directs our behavior and in times of stress, other members of our social group serve as our anchor and provide us with much-needed support.

Specific research in the domain of terminally-ill patients and their caregivers have shown that social support or having the opportunity to interact with people who are in a similar life circumstance increases positive emotions and helps us cope better with stress. Therefore, social support helps us cope with stress. It enhances hope and optimism and reduces negative emotions and mental health problems.

Sources of social support

We can seek social support from many sources. First and foremost is our family. Our family knows us from the day we are born and they can throw light on our strengths and weaknesses much better than anyone else. In fact, there can be times in our lives when our family can help us become self-aware. They can help us see things in a perspective that we ourselves are unable to.

Secondly, we may seek social support from our friends. Since they belong to the same generation and are likely to have similar values, they can help us navigate through difficult situations. Additionally, there may be situations where we are too ashamed of revealing the truth to our family. Friends can support us there.

Thirdly, we can seek social support from our co-workers. Since they are experiencing the same situations at work as we are, they are likely to understand our work world better. Many times, family and friends in different professions are unable to put themselves in our shoes. Hence, their words and advice may dishearten us further. Co-workers can empathize with us better in such situations.

Finally, our bosses can provide us with support in several situations. Owing to their work and life experience, they can serve as our guides and shed light on our feelings and how to overcome the negative phases in our life.

How to increase social support?

Many of us are not very receptive to social support from around us. We tend to isolate ourselves during stressful times and therefore experience high stress for longer durations of time. Here are a few tips that will help us in seeking support.

1. Recognize your limitations: We may often feel that we need to be good at everything. In addition, when we are unable to perform well, we feel that we are not good enough. We also feel that others will make fun of us if we confess our limitations to them. This is often the most powerful deadlock to getting social support. Re-define yourself and recognize your limitations. Seek hep when needed.
2. Support others: It is important to lend an ear to those around us when they are in need. Social support, just like all other social contracts, works on a give-and-take basis. You cannot expect others to support you when you turn a blind eye to them.
3. Join groups and clubs: Social groups are the most prominent sources of social support. Hence, we need to be a part of them so that we do not get isolated. Being a part of groups with like-minded others will definitely help in times of stress.
4. Identify trusted allies: Know your group, specially toxic people who have the potential of turning even positive events to negative. Identify a few mature and stable individuals who can understand and empathize with you during stressful time.

Conclusion

Thus, we see that social support is an important source of stress coping and remaining positive in our lives. We also learned about the sources of social support and how we can improve our level of social support.

The post Is Social Support more important than you think? appeared first on Management Weekly.

Did you know that an average teen can spend up to 9 hours every day on Facebook? This may sound alarming to most of us, but this is the stock reality of these times. The average time spent by adults on social media is around 2 hours. However, some of us may not realize that we are spending a lot more time than that. The addiction of Facebook is more common than we may assume. Have we as humans become addicted to Facebook? Or this is just an adjustment phase after which things will be under control again? 

What is addiction of Facebook? How is it related to other addictions?

Social media addiction has been classified as an impulse control disorder by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Psychological Disorders (DSM-5). The typical cycle of an impulse control disorder is as follows: 

• The person experiences a strong urge or drive (impulse) to engage in the behavior. 
• Abstaining from fulfilling the urge leads to extreme levels of anxiety in the person. 
• The person engages in the behavior to get rid of the anxiety. 
• However, the relief from anxiety is short-lived and soon the impulse or the urge returns. 

Slowly and steadily, the person becomes dependent on social media or any digital App for the release of tension. In other words, digital life serves as a temporary escape from the upheavals of the real world. DSM-5 also considers gaming disorder to be a major part of internet addiction. We are all familiar with the tragedies created by popular digital games. Similarly, people are realizing the potential dangers of addiction of Facebook and other social media platforms.

Analogy between Substance Abuse and Internet Addiction 

Addiction is a type of impulsive behavior where an individual consumes a substance and slowly becomes dependent on it. Traditionally, addiction is caused by narcotic or recreational substances. However, addiction can also happen when a person indulges in other behaviors, such as social media, gambling, or gaming.  

Just like alcoholic experiences a strong urge to consume alcohol, a social media addict experiences a strong urge to post, comment, like, and share posts. The alcoholic is unable to control himself whenever he or she views a bottle of alcohol. Similarly, the social media addict is unable to control oneself by seeing the notification light of the phone blinking. Just like the alcoholic, who knows that drinking is a vice, the social media addict also knows the cons of constantly using and consuming content on social media. Yet both have little power to control their action. Therefore, we become addicted to Facebook. Consequently, this addiction to Facebook starts affecting our health and wellbeing.

How to know if you have Social Media Addiction? 

You can check for the following symptoms in yourself and find out if you have it: 

• Compulsive, excessive, and repeated engagement in social media. 
• Being unable to stop the activity. 
• Impaired judgment. 
• Being unable to control the behavior. 
• Craving the activity or behavior. 
• Being unable to recognize the consequences of the behavior (safety, financial, emotional, physical, death). 
• Strained work and personal relationships. 
• Inappropriate emotional response. 

If you have the above symptoms and the cause of this maladaptation is social media, you know that you have social media addiction. If you think you have any of these symptoms then it indicates that you may have an addiction to Facebook. For a more accurate diagnosis, please visit a psychologist. 

Why do people suffer from social media addiction?

Social media addiction may start off as a simple process. People just join the platform to increase their interaction with other people. However, over a period of time, they get more and more pleasures out of the platform. This pleasure comes from a cycle of positive feedback and self-verification. When you see people are liking your post, you feel good. It is obvious that anyone would want to indulge more in those activities that make one feel good. In addition, social media Apps often suggest such videos to you that you have liked in the past. Hence, they know your likings and preferences. Therefore, you start spending more and more time on social media.  

1. Psychological reasons

Some researchers view social media addiction as a self-regulatory failure. We all know our daily responsibilities. However, when we postpone our work in order to satisfy our urge to check social media or be available online for our friends and relatives, we are unable to regulate our actions to fulfill our top priorities. 

In addition, many of us suffer from FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). We often feel that if we do not check our social media Apps, we will miss some crucial information or news. Often, we feel embarrassed if we do not reply to messages and take pride in claiming that we reply to messages ASAP. We wrongly feel that if we do not check the notifications immediately, something terrible will happen. 

Certain biochemical factors may also force us to suffer from social media addiction. In general, social media addiction has been linked to the activity of the neurotransmitter dopamine. Dopamine controls the mechanisms related to rewards and learning in the brain. When we feel rewarded a large amount of dopamine is released in the brain. Now dopamine gives us a feel-good feeling. Hence, we would normally want to engage in activities that trigger the release of dopamine in the brain. Social media is one such activity that releases dopamine. In addition, when we see that others are liking and commenting on our posts, we feel rewarded. Therefore, it triggers the release of dopamine in the otherwise anxious person. Hence, the cycle of addiction becomes strong. 

2. Social Media are designed to be addictive

However, it is not just the individual who is to be blamed. The algorithm of social media Apps also plays a critical role in this addiction. These sites and apps are designed after careful research into how our minds work. The apps may you stay longer, interact more and share more. The effect may be more pronounced for those individuals who are already more vulnerable. However, at some level, we cannot escape the clutches of social media. To make the matters worse, companies like Facebook already know the adverse effects but encourage it. In a recent revelation by an ex-facebook employee, it was discovered that Facebook knew that Instagram is very bad for teens but they do nothing.

Nir Eyal has suggested that we are hooked on social media. This means that by design, these platforms trap us. He has suggested that the users get hooked to these platforms because it is designed in such a manner. Social media enhances the concept of gamification. We count the number of likes and comments on our post as if the number of likes and comments will make us win a game. They ensure that we get small pleasures from each interaction. It also makes us invested in the followers, likes, and comments. Therefore, it becomes very difficult to leave these platforms. Johari Window Model suggests that our personalities are viewed very differently by us and others. We are in constant turmoil between who we think we are who we want to be seen as.

How to overcome social media addiction? 

The good news is that you can overcome social media addiction by becoming a bit cautious and exercising a bit of self-control in your life. Here are a few ways which will definitely help you: 

1. Actively think about the negative consequences of your behavior. Doing so will enable you to develop insight into your addiction and identify it as maladaptive. 

2. “What gets measured gets controlled” is a famous proverb and wise people follow this. Download the digital well-being App on your phone and track your social media usage. 

3. Disable the notification setting on your phone. This may help you overcome the addiction of Facebook.

4. Engage yourself in exercise and leisure activities so that you have little time for social media. 

5. Experience the bliss of digital detox or the Joy of Missing Out (JOMO) once in a while. In other words, do not open any social media Apps for a day or two. 

6. Practice mindfulness. It is the most effective method of making one conscious of our activities and monitor our behavior. 

7. If none of these work for you, visit a therapist to receive professional assistance. 

The post Addiction of Facebook? How to cope and come out stronger? appeared first on Management Weekly.

IDEO is a pioneering organization of design thinking (DT). They were forerunners of the user-centric design movement in the 1990s. This was even before the term ‘Design Thinking’ became a boardroom lingo. They have carved out a niche for themselves in terms of the quality of consulting and education when it comes to DT. Here we shall take a look at the IDEO Design Thinking Process. We shall also see how it can help us in creating user-centric products and services. Finally, we shall contrast it against an equally popular alternative: Stanford D.School’s design thinking process. This will give us an insight into the subtle differences between the two major schools of DT. 

What is Design Thinking ?

One of the most challenging tasks in business is creating something that works well for the firm, its customers, and other stakeholders. It’s a very narrow path to success. Design thinking is an approach where we try to create or optimize products. The main goal of design thinking is to make something that is extremely user-centric. Unlike other methods of new product development, here in DT, the focus is not on finding a correct solution. When we use the standard research and development process we strive towards making a perfect product. On the other hand, the goal of the design thinking process is to improve the products little by little every time. At the very core of these improvements is a relentless pursuit of customer satisfaction.

However, we have to keep in mind the firm’s profits as well as the technical feasibility of these improvements. Therefore, IDEO says that there are three concurrent goals of any design. These are: 

1. Economic viability – whether the changes are profitable for the firm?

2. Consumer desirability – what do the customers want?

3. Technological feasibility – is it possible with current technologies to incorporate these improvements?

These goals are extremely important to the success of any product or service. A lot of times we may have a product that may be extremely good at one of these three areas, but poor at the other areas. These kinds of products are not successful in the long run. The IDEO design thinking process prescribes some simple steps as discussed in the next section. 

IDEO Design Thinking Steps

IDEO university has pontified the six steps of the IDEO design thinking process: 

1. Frame a question 

2. Gather inspiration 

3. Generate Ideas 

4. Make Ideas tangible 

5. Test to learn 

6. Share the story 

You may see some variations of these steps on different websites. However, this is the correct form of the design thinking process as provided by the IDEO university. I shall be taking the example of Airbnb to explain these steps.

Frame a question 

One of the core principles of design thinking is customer-centricity. Framing the question is one of the most important steps of this entire IDEO design thinking process. In this step, the first question that we ask is who is our customer. It is also important to go beyond the traditional rhetoric of segmentation targeting and positioning we need to take a deep dive into the understanding of customers. This is especially important because we are trying to optimize a product or launch a new product in the market. Therefore we need to understand who is our target customer.  

The second question that we need to ask is regarding the customers’ needs. It is imperative that we understand that needs may not be manifested easily. Many companies run customer surveys to understand the explicit needs of the customer. Leading firms understand the value of going beyond the explicitly specified needs. Pin rightly said by Henry Ford that if he would have asked his customers that what did they want. He would have simply said that they wanted faster horses. Therefore we need to go deeper and understand that what are the pain points of the customer.  

In the case of Airbnb, the founders saw that in spite of traffic on their website few people were booking the rooms. They wanted to know the reason behind this. It could be due to some problem that the customers were facing. 

Gather inspiration 

The second step of the DT process is gathering inspiration. Phones that capitalize on the design thinking process also put in a lot of effort to understand the customer. We have got different means and mechanisms to gather inspiration for innovation. The first source of this inspiration can come from customer journey mapping. Customer journey mapping is a process by which we follow a customer in their shopping journey. On one hand, we can put ourselves in the shoes of the customer and try to replicate the entire purchase process. We can also follow a customer and see that what processes and touch-points they go through. When we close we follow our customers that can also give us some insights about the customers’ pain points.  

The founders of Airbnb put themselves in the shoes of the customer. Consequently, they were able to appreciate the problems that the customers faced on their website. Images that were displayed for the hotel rooms were not up to the mark. Of them were shot by smartphones. The rooms were badly lit. Therefore many users did not end up booking the rooms.  

Generate ideas 

Once you have the pain points of the customer you can try to find solutions to these pain points. There are two things to keep in mind in this regard. A lot of times we just try to find the first possible solution. Then we stop and that solution and don’t look for a better solution. It was a more robust approach would be to keep looking for an answer till you are satisfied.  You can try one of the three types of brainstorming to come up with fresh ideas.

The team at Airbnb wanted to find a solution to this problem. Obviously one of the easiest solutions would be to set up some rules and regulations. The room owners may be asked to upload better-quality pictures on the website. However, this solution may not work well. One of the reasons for this not working is that the owners may not be an expert in photography. Secondly, there would be no benchmark or reference point for them to target.  

Make ideas tangible 

This concept comes from the field of research and development. When we are trying to do R&D for a new product we design models and test them. These models are smaller or scaled versions of the original design. Therefore we can develop these models quickly and at a lower cost. These scale models are also known as prototypes. Once these prototypes are ready we can test them to find out the best one. 

The team at Airbnb decided that day should intervene and optimize the photographs for some of the hotels. This small-scale testing of their idea is just like a prototype. 

Test to learn 

Once our prototypes are ready we have to test them. For example, car companies make prototypes for their vehicles. These prototypes are crash tested to see whether they would stand the force of an accident or a collision. Once you have this data, you will know that what are parameters that you have to optimize. After which you can then build new prototypes that are better than the previous ones.  

In the same vein, the team at Airbnb also decided to test out their idea about the photographs. They visited live locations and took high-quality photographs with digital cameras. After they uploaded this photograph for those properties they started analyzing the data. This and instant increase in the number of booking for these properties. Therefore they were able to find support for their proposed changes. Dekho now ask each of the hotel owners to try to put a photograph that was similar to their photographs. The users had to simply light the room well and they would have to click photographs using proper angles and good quality cameras.  

Share the story 

This is the final step of the design thinking process proposed by IDEO. What’s the storyline for your solution are ready you have to share it with the relevant people inside the organization. This story should not just inform them about the potential solutions. It should also inspire them to serve the customer’s needs.  

Therefore the Airbnb founding team communicated their success story to the property owners. They shared the output of their experiment and asked them to improve the quality of photographs for their listings. In no time the company saw a massive increase in the number of bookings. Therefore by applying the principles of design thinking Airbnb was able to improve its market share. 

The post IDEO Design Thinking Process – Simply Explained appeared first on Management Weekly.

The stick and carrot theory is a well-known approach. Although some people think that this is a theory of motivation, this is actually a theory of compliance. Firstly, we shall take a look at this theory and try to understand what this is about. Then we will look at some real-life examples. 

What is carrot and stick theory? 

The carrot and stick theory says that there are two different approaches to controlling someone’s behavior. We can either encourage someone by providing a reward for favorable behavior. We can also encourage someone by providing punishment for an unfavorable behavior. However, when we take a deeper dive into this theory, we will understand that there is much more to it than rewards and punishment. 

The storm has been traced back to the 19th century. During those times, people used to race on donkeys. One of the surviving images shows that there was a unique approach taken by one of the jockeys. He hung a piece of carrot at the end of a stick and held it in front of the donkey. This encouraged the donkey to run faster than others. Meanwhile, other jockeys simply use the stick approach. They were beating their donkeys left and right in order for them to gain speed. Therefore, the jockey that used both carrot, as well as stick, was able to outperform others. 

In the modern context, the carrot and stick approach refers to the practice of using different techniques like rewards and punishment to encourage a specific behavior. This term is mostly applied in the field of management. However, it is also used in the field of politics. 

The theory behind this term 

One of the key traits of a leader is to make people follow them. One of the pioneering works in this area was done by Amitai Etzioni. He proposed that organizations can use three different means by which they can ensure compliance by the members.  

1. Coercion 

2. Remuneration 

3. Normative 

Coercion is a more severe form of control where the members are controlled by physical force or threat. You can also equate this with the different kinds of threats or punishments that can be meted out to an individual. Therefore, we can classify coercion as a form of ‘sticks’ approach.  

The most common form of remuneration can be money. Money is a powerful motivator and controller of behavior. At the most basic level, the salary of the employees is dependent on the organization. If the organization removes someone from their payroll, that would lead to financial hardship. When an employee behaves in a manner that is favorable to the organization, the organization rewards them with higher remunerations an increase in salary or an increase in position. 

Finally, we come to the normative form of control. This type of form is more symbolic in nature. Here we see that people are controlled by their loyalty or affection towards their organizations. People who are more compliant are typically regarded at a higher level than those people who are rebellious in nature. This in turn informs people’s behavior and keeps them in control. 

Punishment vs Rewards 

Not all punishments are equal in nature. Some of the punishments may be seen as a severe threat, while others can be neglected. In this regard, there are two different factors that can increase the power of punishment. 

1. Severity of punishment – When we perceive that the punishment is going to be severe, we have got higher motivation to comply. 

2. Certainty of punishment – Similarly, when we see that there is a higher probability of getting punished after the crime is caught. 

On the other hand, rewards are generally considered to be a more positive approach towards extracting higher performance. It does not just help people comply; it also keeps them motivated. However, we should also keep in mind that only rewards can get ineffective. Therefore, most managers use a combination of rewards and punishments. The most common benefits of reward are as follows: 

1. Improvement in performance. 

2. Increase in productivity. 

3. Higher creativity. 

4. Higher compliance. 

Why do we need carrot and stick theory? 

There’s a popular theory in management called the agency theory. This theory states that there are two kinds of entities. The first entity is called the principal. The second entity is called the agent. In an organizational context, the principle is the organization, and the agent is the member of the organization that has been hired to do some specific job. 

As per this theory, these members or employees will act to maximize their own benefits. This comes from the self-serving nature of any human being. Whenever they face a certain scenario when they have to choose between personal wellbeing and organizational wellbeing, they will choose personal wellbeing. Therefore, the use of sticks and carrot theory has been suggested. The provision of rewards makes the agent align their personal goals with the organization because they are getting some form of personal benefit in doing so. At the same time, punishments can deter people from some activity as it is personally harmful to them. 

The simplest example of this can be an employee who has been hired to sit as the security guard at the gate. The guard knows that if he is away from that post for long, then his job can be jeopardized. Therefore, he will ensure that he does not leave the post unattended. This thread to the job is like a punishment that will ensure that he diligently sits at the place. He only leaves when he sees that there is some other guard present at the gate. 

Another example of this can be a sales representative for a company. The sales representative has been offered a cut from the total sales that he brings. This incentive or reward will ensure that the employee puts in extra effort to sell the products. 

Deeper understanding 

You must have heard about the term intrinsic motivation. It is extremely important to understand it in this context. Chen et al. (2012), has discussed, the application of stick and carrot theory in the context of policy compliance. They have stated that motivation can have a continuum between autonomy and control. When the motivation is autonomous it means that it is derived from a person’s own interest. This type of motivation is also called intrinsic motivation. 

One of the points of criticism of the stick and the carrot approach is that this approach touches upon the controlled aspect of motivation only.  

Because of this bifurcation that we can find certain limitations to the stick and carrot theory. Firstly, we see that there are many limitations to the monetary rewards for the employees. 

1. Monetary rewards are typically short lived. They have a temporary effect and therefore when they are removed, the effect is also gone. 

2. It has also been seen, then monetary rewards can improve the quantity, but they don’t affect the quality of output. 

Autonomous motivation 

Therefore, we go back to the self-determination theory. This theory explains where does motivation comes from. It says that there are three basic needs that need to be fulfilled. The first need is the need for relatedness or social affiliation. The second need is the need for competence or personal efficacy. The third need is the need for autonomy or self-reliance. 

Controlled motivation 

Let us go back to the stick and carrot approach. We can look at it as a form of control motivation. The basic mechanism of control motivation works by working on certain fears and aspirations of individuals. Some of these aspirations are highlighted below: 

1. Fear of punishment. 

2. Guilt. 

3. Reward for good behavior. 

4. Uneasiness of doing something wrong? 

5. Personal gains. 

6. Expected returns and reciprocity. 

7. Pressure and coercion 

Therefore, we can say that controlled motivation that is conceptualized as the stick and carrot theory has got some major drawbacks. At least contemporary management looks at it with an eye of skepticism. Firstly, it reduces the overall motivation of an individual. Any motivation that is brought about externally or controlled manner will not sustain for long. Secondly, it also lowers the performance. It has been seen that rewards or punishments can work well in the short term, but they do not work well in the very long term. On the other hand, intrinsic motivation has been seen to provide much better results in some contexts. Thirdly, it also leads to a resentful environment in the workplace. Employees always feel that they are being monitored and assessed. It feels like sitting for an exam. Also, the concept of reward and punishment makes some team members superior to others. This leads to conflicts in the workplace. Lastly, it also ends up making people unhappy. It has been seen that this kind of work structure can reduce the well-being of individuals and stress them out. 

What is better than the carrot and stick approach? 

1. Research shows that feedback for improvement is much more important. Then the concept of rewards and punishment. 

2. A good manager follows the old adage ‘praise publicly, criticize privately. 

3. You can also plan to establish a healthy work environment by encouraging team goals.  

4. The personal goals of the employees need to be aligned to the professional goals. This has to be worked out by the manager by sitting down and understand the perspective of their subordinates. 

5. It’s also imperative to understand the importance of job ownership. It has been seen that employees who have a greater ownership in what they’re doing also perform better. 

6. Finally, there should be a clarity about the task that someone has to do. At the same time, there needs to be clarity about the reward that is associated with that task. Sometimes stick and carrot approach fails because the a person may lack clarity about these.  

The post Stick And Carrot Theory – Easy Explanation appeared first on Management Weekly.

Work reflection has been studied by researchers for a long time. It entails thinking about positive and negative events at the workplace. Let us try to understand a bit more in this essay about self reflection after work.

What is work reflection?

Work reflection refers to cognition about the events and interactions of the workplace during non-work or leisure hours. It usually has two components:

1. A cognitive component: The individual engages in active thinking about work events. Therefore, they expend cognitive energy and resources during non-work hours for work-related activities.
2. An affective component: The emotional by-products of engaging in cognition about work events. Such emotions include pride, guilt, embarrassment, positive affect, negative affect, and many more.

We discuss two types of work reflection in this essay on self reflection for the workplace. The first involves reflecting on the positive aspects and events of the workplace. For instance, employees may reflect on a successful client meeting and take notes about the strategies that enabled them to negotiate a win-win deal. The second type involves reflecting on the negative aspects and events of the workplace. For instance, employees might think about how their boss humiliated them in front of the entire team for a grammatical error during a presentation.

It is evident that the two forms of self-reflection would yield entirely different sets of emotional and behavioral outcomes. Positive work reflection during non-work hours and weekends could result in better resource recovery, better sleep quality, positive affect, and greater life satisfaction. On the other hand, negative work reflection is more likely to result in burnout, mental fog, poor sleep quality, and diminished overall health quality. In this essay about self-reflection, we emphasize the importance of the quality of reflection as well. You should focus on positive thoughts more, even though your attention may go to negative thoughts from time to time.

Why is work reflection important?

Despite having mixed outcomes, self-reflection is a crucial aspect of every individual’s life. Imagine a scenario where we did not reflect on what we did and how we did. Would we not reach a quasi-static state? We would not feel any emotions with respect to our work and what is life without emotions? Hence, for our own personal benefit, we need to engage in both positive and negative work reflections. While positive work reflection makes us feel good about ourselves, negative work reflection gives us scope for improvement. Recall our earlier example of the boss who humiliated the employee. Although there are better communication strategies that the boss could have used, the employee would now be extra cautious about grammatical and typographical errors during work presentations.

In addition, all emotional states (both positive and negative) serve important functions in our lives. Imagine a situation where you got into trouble for over-speeding your vehicle. If you do not reflect on it and experience guilt about almost killing yourself and other people, you would probably forget about it and over-speed again in the future. However, if you reflect on it and realize your mistake and the situational factors that led to the accident, you would be careful next time. As a result, your driving skill would improve.

► Pro Tip: don’t overdo it

Frequent harsh appraisals of the self often lead to persistent negative moods. This is especially true for individuals with low self-esteem. Individuals with low self-esteem enter a vicious cycle of brooding and self-blame when they engage in too frequent negative reflection. On one hand, they have an inherent tendency to perceive the self in a negative light, and on the other hand, negative events actually happen to them. Additionally, research suggests that we often make more mistakes when we ride the highs and lows of the emotional rollercoaster. Hence, such individuals are more likely to make errors in the workplace, which gives them scope for further negative reflection.

The benefits of positive work reflection

Positive reflection has been associated with numerous positive outcomes like happiness, positive affect, life satisfaction, better sleep quality, and better physical and mental health. A research study found that employees who engaged in positive reflection during a weekend vacation experienced lesser exhaustion, fatigue, and burnout as compared to employees who did not reflect and those who engaged in negative reflection. However, the downside is that the positive impact of positive reflection did not have temporal longevity. In other words, employees soon returned to the base level of positive emotions within 14 days of returning from the vacation. Therefore, employees need to actively practice positive reflection in order to reap the benefits in the long run. Positive reflection interventions like mindfulness training have been shown to enhance the ability to perceive the light at the end of the tunnel.

The cons of reflection: A Conservation of Resources Approach

The conservation of resources theory (Hobfol, 1989) states that individuals have a fixed repository of resources. If we expend more resources on one activity, we automatically have lesser resources for other activities. Hence, if we spend too much time reflecting on work events during our non-work hours, we are less likely to have time and energy for household chores and leisure activities. Both of them have great importance in our lives.

If we are not able to find time for household chores and family activities, we face work-family conflict. Work-family conflict is a major source of stress and burnout in today’s age of dual-career families. Leisure activities help us define our identity and give us motivation and energy for other activities. Hence if we are unable to find time for leisure, we end up being exhausted. Therefore, engaging in both forms of reflection have the disadvantage of leaving us exhausted.

New Trends in Work Reflection

The global pandemic has made our lives difficult. While we are working from home, the boundaries between work and non-work activities and hours have become blurred. Most employees claim that they are working for extra hours and feeling exhausted and over-burdened. The situation is more challenging for dual-career couples with kids. In such a situation, we hardly have time for conscious work reflection. Therefore, in this essay on self-reflection for work, we suggest some easy interventions.

These are less likely to have an impact on your ability to reflect positively or negatively. Hence, we have to take charge of the situation ourselves. Firstly, while remaining aware of the consequences of the disease, we need to reduce the negative talk. Secondly, we have to adopt the method of time blocking. Most employees are ending up working extra hours because they are not able to define the boundary between work and family due to the absence of physical distance. If we block time for activities beforehand, we would have time for all activities. Remember most of us are saving hours of commute time. Since reflection is important, we need to block some time to take a quick walk and reflect on the happenings of the day. A conscious effort to do so for a few days would lead to the formation of a good habit.

The post Motivate Yourself Easily: An Essay about Self Reflection After Work appeared first on Management Weekly.

It is common for employees to have conflicts with their co-workers. There may be conflicts due to individual differences between co-workers. In addition, there could be task-related conflicts arising from leadership or company policies. In any case, resolving conflicts in the workplace is important. Workplace conflicts are not desirable for either company performance or individual well-being. Let us look at Thomas Kilmann’s Conflict Model to resolve conflicts in the workplace.

Let us consider an example to understand the process of conflict resolution in the workplace. Company ABC has been merged with company XYZ. The top management team of ABC wants to print posters containing the name and picture of their Founder and CEO and have them put up in all departments across both organizations. Company XYZ sees this as an intrusion and also considers it a waste of resources. However, ABC, being the more reputable and revenue-generating of the two firms, thinks and insists that this move is required to boost the morale of both firms.

The Thomas Kilmann Conflict Model

Thomas and Kilmann’s Conflict Model is a powerful way of looking at conflict management. Conflicts are painful for individuals, and it is an important test of managerial skills. Different people respond differently to conflicts. Thomas and Kilmann studied how people managed conflicts. They were greatly inspired by the daily lives of individuals. They observed that most people use one of the five approaches to resolving interpersonal conflicts. Kenneth Thomas and Ralph Kilmann developed a framework using these five approaches. They came up with the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument or TKI in 1974.

However, let us first understand the nuts and bolts of TKI. Firstly, TKI talks about the two dimensions of conflict management. Think of them as two approaches that you can take. You could be assertive in resolving the conflict or try to be cooperative.

Two Differing Approaches – Assertiveness vs Cooperativeness

The Thomas Kilman Conflict Model posits that there are two ‘dimensions’ or approaches for conflict behavior. These approaches are essentially ways of dealing with the situation of conflict. The individuals may choose to be either assertive in their approach or cooperative.

People may become assertive in situations where they feel there is a threat to their concerns. On the other hand, they may become cooperative when they attempt to cater to other’s concerns. These dimensions provide us with a perspective to understand the five modes for managing conflict. Finally, it should be noted that T&K has emphasized that no one approach is superior. A manager should use an approach as per the situation. I have attempted to provide a summary of the two approaches below for easier perusal:

[table id=6 /]

The Five Modes for Conflict Management

The five modes for conflict management are the core takeaway from Thomas Kilmann’s conflict model. These modes are spread across the two dimensions or approaches as we have discussed earlier. Let us first place them in a chart. This will help us make a better sense of the model. Further, we shall take a deeper dive into each one of these modes.

1. Competing

At the top left end of the chart, we have high assertiveness and low cooperation. We find competing right at this spot. This means that we use ‘competing’ as a conflict resolution strategy when we resort to being assertive. Additionally, we also become uncooperative with the opposing party. However, this strategy is not as evil as it sounds. This mode may be more appropriate when we need speedy resolution, and we are in a higher position of power. It is also imperative to use this mode when we have to take tough calls.

Example scenario: The security freeze

A release manager discovers, two days before a major launch, that a third-party library
in the build has a critical vulnerability. Marketing has announced the date; the sales
team has demos booked. In the go/no-go meeting she states plainly: “We ship without this component or we don’t ship. I won’t sign off a known breach risk.”

There is no workshop, no split-the-difference. She uses her authority and takes the
unpopularity. Why it works here: the stakes are asymmetric — a delayed launch costs
days, a breach could cost the company. When the downside is catastrophic and time is
short, competing is not aggression; it is stewardship.

2. Avoiding

The avoiding mode reflects passivity in conflict management. Although, from an ideal perspective, we would agree that we should face the problems head-on. However, the most confident of us would have been in situations where confrontation was best avoided. Also, some problems are so trivial that they are not worth your time.

This approach involves shunning the conflict and withholding one’s views and opinions. People also employ this approach when the cost of confrontation and resolution is far more than the cost of living with the conflict. However, avoiding does not resolve the conflict. On the downside, it just buries it below the surface and may potentially lead to future conflicts.

Example scenario: The heated argument

A sprint retrospective turns personal: two engineers start relitigating a production
incident with rising voices. The engineering manager closes the topic: “We’re not solving this in the last five minutes of a Friday retro. I’m taking it off the agenda and I’ll talk to you both Monday.”

By Monday, both engineers have cooled off, and the manager has read the incident log —
the facts settle half the argument before it restarts. Why it works here: avoiding
is not pretending the conflict doesn’t exist; it is choosing the timing. Deferring a
fight you’d lose to emotion, to a moment you can win with facts, is a skill.

3. Accommodating

Now, we are gradually moving towards more amicable means of resolving conflicts. Perhaps, accommodating mode is so considerate of the opposing party that you are ready to call it a truce at the cost of giving up your position. It may be worthwhile in situations when the conflict is a total waste of your time.

The Thomas and Kilmann Conflict Model positions this mode as high in cooperativeness and low in assertiveness. We sacrifice our own stance to make the other party happy.

Example scenario: The naming debate

A senior designer has argued for weeks that the new feature should be called “Spaces,”
not “Rooms.” In the final review the product lead — who prefers “Rooms” — realises the
designer’s conviction is deep, the user-testing difference is marginal, and the launch
needs the designer’s full energy far more than it needs the product lead’s preferred noun.

“Let’s go with Spaces. You’ve thought about this more than I have.” Why it works here: the issue is minor, the relationship and momentum are major, and conceding
visibly costs the product lead nothing but ego. Accommodating spends a small chip to
buy a large one — and unlike capitulation, it is chosen, said out loud, and banked.

4. Collaborating

We use collaborating mode of conflict resolution when we are on the same page as the opposing party. This is an ideal solution. It happens when both parties are sensible, have similar power and authority, and are ready to cooperate with each other. This is easier in a decentralized organizational structure.

Typically, the first step is a detailed discussion. We need to understand each other’s viewpoints. This leads to a deeper analysis of the situation. We also try to understand each other’s expectations. Finally, we reach a solution where both parties may benefit.

Example scenario: The two different roadmaps

Two product leads both need the only data-engineering team for Q3 — one for a customer
migration, one for a compliance deadline. Instead of escalating, they book two hours,
map both projects’ actual dependencies, and discover the compliance work needs the same
data pipelines the migration would build — just in a different order.

They re-sequence into one shared plan and split the engineering time 70/30 across the
quarter. Why it works here: both concerns were legitimate and important, and the
integrated answer was genuinely better than either original ask. That discovery only
happens when both sides put their real constraints on the table.

5. Compromising

Finally, we arrive at the literal middle ground in the Thomas Kilmann Conflict Model. The center of the chart shows us a point where we are moderately assertive and moderately cooperative. In certain situations, we may not want to have an extended resolution. Collaborating takes time. Also, in some situations, we don’t want to be too confrontational, but at the same time, we want to take a stand as well.

Also, there are some conflicting situations where we know that the best potential solution would be to satisfy all the parties. In such situations, we typically approach the conflict as a compromise. Each conflicting party gets something they want. Meanwhile, they also give up something they wanted. So it is a mixed win for all. However, some parties may get a resolution closer to their expectations, while it could be a greater compromise for the other.

Example scenario: The conference budget

Two department heads each want the full training budget for their teams’ conferences.
Both cases are decent; neither is decisive; the budget deadline is Friday. They split
the budget 50/50 in a ten-minute call and move on.

Why it works here: moderate stakes, equal power, a clock. A collaborative
deep-dive might have produced a marginally better allocation — and consumed six hours
of leadership time neither could spare. Compromise is the mode that knows when good
enough is good enough.

None of the people in the examples presented above used a default or ‘favourite’ mode. They used a mode which worked best for a particular situation. This highlights that the goal of the TKI framework is to have a wider repertoire to solve workplace challenges.

*You may want to take the quiz above to find what your default mode is. This will also help you understand which of the five scenarios is the hardest one for you.

When to use each conflict mode?

There is no single “best” conflict management style, and that’s the whole point of the model. Each mode is right in some situations and a liability in others; the skill is reading the situation and flexing to fit it rather than defaulting to your comfort zone. Kenneth Thomas (one of the model’s authors) mapped out which situations call for which mode, and the table below turns that into a reach-for-this-when guide.

Quick decision guide: which conflict management style should you use?

Start from the situation you’re in and stop at the first line that fits:

• A fast, decisive call is needed — a crisis, or an unpopular decision that has to be made → Competing
• Both sides have concerns too important to trade away, and you need buy-in → Collaborating
• Equal power, a deadline, and a “good enough” answer will do → Compromising
• The issue is trivial, or emotions are too high to talk right now → Avoiding
• You’ve realised you’re wrong, or it matters far more to them than to you → Accommodating

Key takeaway: your dominant conflict style is your comfort zone, not the right answer — the managers who handle conflict well deliberately reach for the mode the situation needs. (Link “conflict-style quiz” here to your quiz widget.)

Source: This section is based on the seminal works by Thomas and Kilman (Thomas, 1977; Thomas & Kilmann, 1974).

Downloadable Assets

Frequently Asked Questions on Thomas Kilmann Conflict Model

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The Johari window model is a model of self-awareness and communication. It was developed by two psychologists: Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham in 1955. The name “Johari” is actually a combination of their first names. The Johari window model basically helps us become self-aware of our relationship with others as well as with ourselves. In the workplace, it is extremely important for improving mutual relationships in groups, improving communication within the organization and overall ease of teamwork.

Why do we use Johari Window Model?

The Johari window model is a simple yet useful model. There are many ways in which it can facilitate communication and group dynamics in organizations. Specifically, we highlight the following uses of the Johari window model:

1. It provides information regarding the emotions, attitudes, ability and motivation of various team members. This information can be used by managers and leaders for better task delegation and for training and development purposes. In sum, it gives organizational and group leaders a thorough understanding of the employees.
2. It can be used to gather information about the relationship between teams in an organization. Such information is greatly useful for inter-group collaborations and knowledge sharing. In sum, it may facilitate organizational learning.
3. The four quadrants of the Johari window help organizational members understand the degree of socialization of each other. For instance, a new employee who does not know much about the organizational culture or other employees is likely to be in quadrant 3.

We will now discuss the four quadrants of the Johari window.

The four regions of the Johari window

The Johari window is represented just like a window with four panes. We move from one pane to another as the level of mutual trust and self-awareness increases. The four panes are as follows:

Open or Free Area:

This region represents the first quadrant of the Johari window and is also referred to as the arena. This is because this area is known both to the self and by others. It includes emotions, attitudes, skills, intentions that are known by other team members. Therefore, it is also called the area of free activity.

Every group must strive to increase the free area. This is because the chances of mistrust, miscommunication and conflict are much less in this area. It is natural for old and established team members to have a larger free area (see Figure 1) as compared to new members. Therefore, new members must be given a chance to share their opinions and feedback. This increases the free area of new members considerably. This method is called “feedback socializing”. It not only helps in the acculturation of new members but also improves decision-making.

The free area can also be increased when other group members provide constructive feedback to other members. At the same time, each group member should also open up about their strengths and weaknesses to other group member. Sharing one’s vulnerabilities greatly increases team cohesion and productivity.

Blind Area

The blind area refers to aspects about the self which are unknown to the individual but known by other team members. It is information about the self which cannot be used by individuals because they are not aware of it. Therefore, this area represents deluded information about the self.

Team members can help each other contract the blind area by giving non-judgmental and constructive feedback. Such feedback would enable individuals hidden aspects about the self. Therefore, each employee can engage in self-improvement. This feedback exercise can not only help employees enhance their skills in a realistic fashion but also increase mutual trust and cooperation.

However, managers must ensure that such feedback is always given in a non-critical manner. Employees should not hurt and point fingers at each other. Feedback should be given with the intention of helping each other only.

Hidden Area

This quadrant represents information about the self which is known to the individual but unknown to other team members. Hence, it contains aspects about the self which have not been disclosed to others yet. New members are likely to have a larger hidden area as compared to others (see Figure 2). The hidden area is actually a hindrance to collaboration. This is because these skills are not known by other members.

The hidden area usually includes fears, insecurities and other dark or embarrassing self-related aspects. It may take some time for the individual to open up about these aspects. Opening up about hidden information may prove to a source of emotional catharsis for employees. In addition, it reduces the room for misunderstandings and miscommunications.

Unknown Self

This quadrant of the Johari window represents information that is hidden from both the individual as well as other group members. One potential reason is that such information could be in the preconscious of the individual. Hence, despite being close to the surface, the individual is unaware of it. In addition, it could include embarrassing or humiliating childhood memories which cause a lot of anxiety if brought to the surface. Hence, hidden information should be exposed very cautiously.

There are some techniques of self-discovery and self-disclosure like deep introspection and psychoanalysis which may help bring such information to the surface. However, very few individuals are able to utilize these skills in their day-to-day life.

Conclusion

Thus, the johari window is a good tool to increase self-awareness and socialization in organizations. It has the potential to increase group trust and improve communication significantly. In general, individuals with high emotional intelligence are better able to benefit from this tool.

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TED is an incredible source of inspiration. Some of the videos are more powerful than many self-help books. Here we share the top five TED talks on resilience. We have curated this from hundreds of different videos on this topic. However, this is not a comprehensive list. Therefore, please use the comment box to suggest any other videos you would like to see on this list.

Top five TED talks on personal resilience

Please note that we have not used criteria such as the number of views or likes to create the list. This list of TED talks on resilience reflects the editor’s preferences for the videos and not an indicator of any ranking.

1. The three secrets of resilient people by Lucy Hone

We all have had our share of hardships and breaking points in life. For instance, loss of a loved one, divorce, miscarriage, major break-up, etc. Personal resilience is about bouncing back after such major tragedies and getting back with your life. Lucy Hone shares her life’s biggest tragedy where she survived a major heart-wrenching accident. She shares her experience fighting with post-trauma and survivor’s guilt.  
 
Firstly, resilient people are mentally ‘aware’ that bad things happen. This awareness that anything ‘can’ go wrong will make you at least in part, a little bit prepared for things that come your way. Contrast that with someone who is overly optimistic about life. Tragedies can derail the whole perspective and mental balance of such people.  
 
Secondly, she shared that resilience was all about selective attention. Just consider the case of our sensory perception like sight and hearing. Every single day, we are bombarded with information. Most of that is useless. Our brains do a remarkable job of filtering all the noise. However, on the other hand, once the information has reached our brain, once it is perceived, it becomes very difficult to filter out. Her advice to be aware of the situation, however reacting to things that are under your control while not pay attention to those things that are out of your control. She also recommended the method found through a research study. One can list down 3 good things that had happened to you on a day. This increases your overall attitude towards life and helps you cope well. 
 
Thirdly, she shares a simple tool to appraise the situation. When you are overwhelmed with any negative thoughts, just ask yourself “whatever you are doing, is it helping you or harming you?” This simple test can help you classify activities and thoughts that are destructive and those that are not. It is no use getting into self-destructive grief. There are active choices to be made every day. These choices can help you overcome situations. Over time, it will help you become more resilient. 
 

2. What Trauma Taught Me About Resilience by Charles Hunt

In this incredible TED talk, Charles Hunt shares his life experiences. All the traumatic instances of a childhood shaped him into his present form. The stories are definitely going to make you question your reference for hardships in life. When we see what others have gone through, our own pain may seem trivial.  
 
He attributes his resilience to having a stay strong attitude. He says he still stands there in front of the people regardless of his hardships. Also, he highlights the point that resilience can be learned. Resilience is the ability to adapt to the changes and adjust yourself to the changing circumstances.  
 
It need not be innate. It is a similar concept to leadership. Although, many people still (wrongly) believe that leadership is a trait. He went on to work in different roles, and finally settling down as founder of personal development and coaching firm. 
 

3. Resilience: The Art of Failing Forward by Sasha Shillcutt

 Sasha shares her secret to success: Resilience. According to her resilience is about ‘failing forward.’ She breaks the paradigm of seeking perfection in things. It is rather counterproductive. She suggests that we should not seek perfection but embrace failures as part of the journey forward. Here are some key pointers from her TED talk: 
 
* Embrace failure as a learning and growth opportunity 
* Talk to others and share your situation 
* Avoid being a perfectionist 
* Don’t get trapped into a state of shame 
 

4. Cultivating resilience by Greg Eells

Greg takes us on a journey to discover how to cultivate resilience in life.  In his TED talk on resilience, he shares simple ways to become stronger.
 
S – Social Connections. We are all connected to each other and these connections keep us from intense negative emotions and thoughts. One of the best ways to stay connected is to do something for others.  
S – Surround yourself with role models of resilience 
A – Attitude. The key to change almost everything in life. A resilient attitude comes from taking things positively. Things are transient and we should not get carried away by things that are momentary. 
S – Spirituality. One of the ways of keeping yourself strong could be spirituality.  
V – Values. They help you take a decision being cognizant of the situation and what is right or wrong.  
E – Emotions. People let go of their anxiety and negative emotions. It helps them get through. Something that Greg calls ‘creative hopelessness.’  
S – Silliness. A way of laughing at your situations and yourself. We came from the elements and we shall get back to them some day.  
 

5. Innovation and Resilience by Jeff Moore

Jeff Moore shares his perspective on Resilience in this TED talk. He takes us through an anecdote from his life. He connects the examples from innovative startups. Some of the catchiest ideas are those that help solve some of the biggest challenges. Drawing an analogy, he proposes that we should think about our lives in a similar manner. If we start thinking of the problems in our lives, we can start solving them one by one. All we need is an innovative approach towards them and treat them as an entrepreneur treats a real-life problem. 
 
Further, he emphasizes the fact that we need to take more control of our lives. There are a lot of things that we can indeed fix. He ends his video by sharing three points that can help us become more resilient: 
 
* We should honor our lives; this is key to start becoming resilient. 
* Define a mission statement for ourselves, just like the startups. 
* Finally, we should also remember to be blissful. We should be grateful for every positive thing we have. 

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